No Cannes Do

No Cannes Do

It's exactly one month until the 62nd Festival de Cannes—a.k.a. the Cannes Film Festival—opens along the beautiful French Riviera. Before making your plans, check out their website at: http://www.festival-cannes.com/en.html

When I wrote for Military.com, I needled my editor annually about sending me to cover the Festival. See my 2007 lament at: http://www.military.com/entertainment/movies/movie-news/another-cannes-of-worms

The answer was always the same: No. No. And, NO.

I couldn't quite figure it out. There was always plenty of cash for backdated stock options for the big boys. But, let one of the little people ask for a perk, and you'd think the outfit was on the brink of bankruptcy.

Anyway, now that I'm working for myself, I figured that the boss would say yes faster than a politician contemplating a bribe.

Was I in for a surprise. Cannes was out. Too expensive. Okay, maybe some other, less pricey, destination would pass muster. So, I looked around.

And, I found that there are lots of film festivals—hundreds in fact. There are sixty-four in France alone. The French obviously take their movies seriously. Which begs the question: Why are there so few good French films? But, if Cannes is out, so is the rest of France.

After some more digging, I identified plenty of intriguing festivals. Bulgaria (Bulgaria?) hosts something called the Love is Folly Film Festival. Sounds like the story of my life. I like that Bulgaria is bargain-priced. Anyway, who needs the Mediterranean when they've got the Black Sea?

Speaking of love, I was especially intrigued by London's Tongues on Fire Film Festival. It sounds salacious. Like a lyric from a Rolling Stones' song. But, London's expensive.

I guess that if I want salacious, I should try something closer to home. Maybe Philadelphia's Big Bang Film Festival.

There are lots of Jewish Film Festivals. I can understand the one in Jerusalem, but Hong Kong?

Perusing a list of film festivals, you begin to understand the reach of movies in today's world. Even in the grip of starvation and a cholera epidemic, Harare hosts the Zimbabwe International Film Festival. Mugabe must be a fanboy.

There's also the Sarajevo Film Festival in war-torn Bosnia; the Reggae Film Festival in Jamaica; and the Kathmandu International Mountain Film Festival in Nepal. If Nepal is too out-of-the-way, there's also the Himalaya Film Festival in Amsterdam. Yes, Amsterdam.

Me? I've decided to go for something less exotic. The Johnny Mack Brown Film Festival in folksy Dothan, Alabama. You can check it out here: http://www.johnnymackbrownfilmfestival.com/

Mr. Brown, a Dothan native and University of Alabama football hero in the 1920s, starred in dozens of B-movie Westerns in the 1930s and 1940s. In addition to screening Mr. Brown's films, the Festival includes activities like wagon rides, exhibitions of trick roping, and Native American dancers. You won't see that at Cannes!

So, that's it. Pack up the boots and plaid shirts. I'm going to Dothan. But, I've got a secret. I was born in Dothan and grew up nearby. Most of my family still lives there. I can kill two birds with one road trip: a visit home and a blog from the Johnny Mack Brown Film Festival.

How can the boss say no?